ten

"Day 10-Something You're Afraid Of"

eeeeeek. I don't like this topic one bit. 

  I feel like it makes me bring things to the surface that definitely shouldnt. Like the last blog post included scripture from 1 John that says "perfect love casts out all fear". So as I make a bulleted list of these things I am afraid of, keep in mind these are Human Libby's Stupid Fears, not Libby's Lack-of-Fear when she has full faithfulness and hope in Christ.   

• Leaving something on in the house and ME burning it down. When I leave, I spend the first few miles in anxiety thinking I might have left something on. Its bad. but I learned to just trust myself. But I sure hope it doesn't happen one day.
• Honestly, if you would have asked this question about a year ago... I would've easily said, "Losing someone I love." I just didn't know if I had it in me to deal with it... and I for sure wasn't ready. Come to find out, I was right,I didn't but God did. When my Pa-Pa went home last year, my family has never felt God's hand on us more than in that moment. I don't fear this as much as I used to... but still, my human-self does not like the idea! 
• Spiders. Just ask my sister, aka "the ultimate Spider Killer". She is always called in to "do the duty" to save her lil sis. 
• Turbulence on airplanes gets me all nervous inside
• Vomiting. ugh. I will talk myself out of it... whew I hate it. 
• Not being able to have babies.  I know, that is petty and stupid of me to even bring this up. I know God has a plan for Libby and whatever it is, I will trust Him and follow 100%! so, regardless...I just wanna be a momma.
• Going outside at night to get something out of the car still gets me. What if someone was out there?!
• disappointing others... esp my parents
• The love of money terrifies me. I hope to never ever get wrapped up in it. 
• Adding to this list

 Im all done. I don't want to sit here any longer and muster up more things to add. Well, those are things I am afraid of. Today, I will breathe a breath of confidence because God conquers those things in my life for me, even the turbulence.  "Our God is greater, Our God is stronger!"

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P.S. This got me thinking about my Papa today (not that it doesn't happen every other day!) James Owen Enlow never lived one day of his life in fear. He never let me feel fearful either. Life was too precious to live it in fear of what could happen, just do it. 

I remember sitting in the driver's seat of a Mack Dump Truck, gripping my shaky little girl hands onto the gigantic steering wheel and looking over at him in the passenger seat just wishing he would say "Its okay, you dont have to do this. Hop out"

uh, NO WAY JOSE. I was gonna do this, right then and there. Libby was driving this stick-shift 30-ton bullet or she could have no watermelon for a week. Oh goodness, this man knew me like the back of his rough, callused hands. He knew I could do this and I shouldn't be afraid. He was right, as usual. I did it, with him beside me, of course. 

I could go on forever with stories just like that. He taught he so much about life and how to live it to the fullest.  Ive been more and more thankful for that every single day he has been gone from this earth. Next month will make a year... Im not ready but Libby + God will be.